Sunday, 19 July 2015

My Inner Gamer

     I am not sure I have done the right thing in the concept of my life; I may have just opened Pandora’s Box, thinking that all will be well and nothing could go wrong, but have now unleashed darkness across the horizon and mostly my vision and sense of time keeping.  I have replaced one bad habit with a possible other, more healthy, but still bad.

     Pandora’s Box was green and a few years old, but the X on the front was forcing me to rekindle a vice I believed I didn’t need any more.  A vice that conjures visions of a fat me in some greyed out Y fronts surrounded by crisp packets and telling some child in America to go kill himself over the internet headset as I mow him down with some extreme weapon, all via the conceptual world of virtual reality with the screen of wonder.  That is right people the Xbox once borrowed from a friend when I was out of work is back out and plugged in and I had to go and get myself a bloody Batman game, so see you later world, I’ll re-emerge around Christmas, a much whiter and larger man.

     It has been some time since I really got into gaming, but thankfully I have aged, hopefully for the better and I won’t spend hours upon un-ending hours in front of my television jabbing buttons until my hands cramp and I have to use fists to move things around.  As a child I grew up with the SNES, then a Playstation, then something happened and I stopped playing computer games.  I say something, I mean girls appeared and I put down childish things.  Kind of.

     Through out my late teens and twenties I just had handhelds, PSP’s of the world and finally ended up with a Nintendo DS, which has now turned into a 3DS, but I have always told myself, I am not a gamer.  It is amazing when denial sets in, “I’m not love honest, I only play occasionally” or anytime you’re not here to see me shout and swear at the TV whilst I shoot around roof tops and beat the shit out of the scum of Gotham City because I’m BATMAN! My secret identity is not Batman, nor am I Bruce Wayne the second the controller goes down, I am Tom until I pick that moulded plastic box of joy and excitement thats fits into my palm like it is made to fit and then I became him, the persona I have hidden beneath my chinos and slim fit shirts, the man who doesn’t exist in the world of light, I am Gamer Man! But I'm not the only one.

     I have hit and bypassed the age of thirty, and thee days sitting in front of my TV watching thousands of hours of The Sopranos, Mad Men, Breaking Bad, Sons of Anarchy and now trying to work out if Sense8 over on Netflix is worth carrying on with is fine, no frowns by anyone. But spending five hours being Batman and tracking the Joker in a computer game even to the point of thinking I'll just finish this bit and I'll finally go to the bath room is not good and is frowned upon, not by all but many.  It does show that men are mostly children really but men are very competetive and this is why we love computer games we want to beat others and show how good we are.

     Unfortunately for me I've never been very good at computer games, Mario is usually the easiest for me, but games are getting harder every generation to the point that you have to be a genius to complete or have thhe reactions of a ten year old which is never going to happen once you have gone over thirty.

     So I will keep my life of a gamer more underground where I can happily sit in the games room shouting at the television that I am amazing because I'm BATMAN!